Neo-Noir. Sadism. Murder.
Yes, I have them all safely hidden inside my jacket pocket. I’ve cultivated the darkness well. It’s kept me warm at night and is the only thing I’ve been able to rely upon. It’s safe. It has helped me survive.
I didn’t mean to do what I did. It all just happened. One thing led to another and now I am where I am. Some would say that’s a poor excuse but it’s easier to say that then to force strangers to accept the truth. Between lovers, things are a whole lot more complicated than that. How can inevitably be explained to someone on the outside? They don’t know the torment. Thirty years of tiny prickles and pokes has pushed it to the limit.
I told my therapist what’s been happening but now he’s been drawn into my world. The challenge is to show him everything but keep him silent so I can allow my special activity to blossom. I want to share in the suffering by day but then enjoy redemption at night and, by the grace of the thunderstorm, some much needed sanctuary. – Mitchell
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