Breaking Up Is The Right Thing To Do
A fairy-tale is coming to an end. In fact, if I had to describe it more accurately, it’s not an ending, it’s more like an open-ended horror story that should’ve ended a long time ago. I’ve worked at fixing the problems, the breakages, tried so very hard to make things right but it hurts too much. I ache from aching. I don’t want to lose you but I’m losing myself hanging on to this.
It’s not working. We are not working. Breaking up would be better, right? It’s the only thing we haven’t tried. We should try it. I think we should try it.
I mean, no one ever says to break up or divorce, do they? Sure, some think about it, jokes are sometimes passed between friends, but few of them are ever said or taken seriously. The truth is, once we’ve made a commitment to marry, we’re supposed to remain together forever, right?
Or was that meant to be translated as, die trying?
This commitment thing creates an interesting conundrum. At some point, if things go south in our marriage, our quality of our life goes with it. Marriage and happiness start out as lovers but they too can divorce without breaking a single vow. So do we commit to a promise we made in the past or do we strike up a new one to protect our future? By staying we’re accepting pain and we’ll be making a deal with the devil.
Reaching relationship utopia ’til death do us part is easier said than lived. Making it work is a whole different game of hearts. What if it doesn’t go like that? What happens then?
Sometimes the perfect duo will slowly kill each other one tiny blow at a time – and they don’t even know they’re doing it. They try to keep their shit together for love and monogamy and children and tradition and all the other things that go with it… and it just fucks us up. It’s impossible to keep order. Living this kind of life this way is agonizing. It’s no one’s fault. It’s everyone’s fault.
Silence or bickering. We’ve had enough of both. I know they’re doing my head in. Neither of us is giving in or giving up but the inevitable is there, right in front of us. Just look at it! It’s there staring right back at us, begging for closure. Sometimes the happiest ending to a tragic tale is the one that includes the words ‘walk away.’
Is that allowed?
Breaking up is not romantic. It’s tragic. Sad. It’s like death. Something in us will die. Well, the choice is that or accept torture, isn’t it? It is a fool who chooses torture. I’ve been so foolish. I’ve accepted torture.
Yes, breaking up is allowed. Death is also an option. Let the relationship die. Kill it already. Write that ending chapter and close the damn book. Put it on the shelf and walk away from it. Let it go. Draw in a deep breath and walk the hell away. Avoid turning around. There’s nothing to see. It’s dead. You buried it. You can’t change the past but you can walk away today. Things won’t be the same again, this is true.
That’s also the goddam point!
More than likely, they’ll get better. They certainly can’t get any worse.
Break ups happen. They really do. They’re a natural part of life. If we’re to believe that the rainbow of existence is made up of many colours, we must be prepared to accept the darker ones too. They will visit us from time to time. Walking away is one of those horrible colours but it’s just that, another colour, nothing more.
So walk away its ugliness. Just go. Prettier ones will return in time. We should be allowed to embrace The End without guilt. We need to be able to move on to survive.
Do it. Let go. Tomorrow’s rainbow is waiting.
SEETHINGS is about long-term love too. It’s about two proud people who once loved well but became love-martyrs to sustain an endless ending.
Someone is about to be tortured. Someone will die in exchange for all the pain.
Five Random Victims
“Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.”
– Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’.