A fairy-tale is coming to an end. In fact, if I had to describe it more accurately, it’s not an ending, it’s more like an open-ended horror story that should’ve finished some time ago. I’ve tried to fix the problems, the breakages, tried so very hard to make things right but it hurts too much to do that now. I ache. I don’t want to lose you but I’m losing myself hanging on to you.
It’s not working. We are not working. Breaking up is better, right? It’s the only thing we haven’t tried. We should try it. I want to try it.
I mean, no one ever says to break up or divorce, do they? Sure, jokes are made about it but few of them are taken seriously. We’re supposed to remain together forever. That was the dream and the promise, right?
Or was that meant to be said as: ‘Die trying’?
I am dead. How is this any different?
Relationship utopia is easier said than lived. Making it work is a whole different game of hearts. What if it doesn’t work? What happens then?
Sometimes the perfect duo will slowly kill each other and they don’t even know that they’re doing it. They try to keep their shit together for love and monogamy and children and tradition and all the other things that go with it… and it’s just fucked-up. It’s impossible to do. Living this kind of life this way is agonizing, torturous. It’s no one’s fault. It’s everyone’s fault.
Silence and bickering. I’ve had enough of it. They’re doing my head in. Neither of us is giving in or giving up but the inevitable is there, right in front of us. Just look at it! It’s there staring right back, begging for closure. Sometimes the happiest ending to a tragic tale is the one that includes the words ‘walk away.’ Is that even possible? Is that allowed?
Breaking up is unromantic. Tragic. Sad. It’s like death. Something in us will die. The choice is that or keep enduring this torture. It is a fool who chooses torture over death. I’ve been so foolish.
Yes, breaking up is allowed. Death is an option. Let the relationship die. Write that ending chapter and close the damn book. Put it on the shelf and walk away. Let it go. Draw in a deep breath and then take a step away from it… and then take another. Avoid turning around. There’s nothing to see there. It’s dead. You can’t change it. Walk away. Things won’t be the same again, this is true.
That’s also the goddam point!
More than likely, they’ll get better. They certainly can’t get any worse.
Break ups happen. They really do. They’re a natural part of life. If we’re to believe that the rainbow of existence is made up of many colours, we must be prepared to accept that the dark ones will visit from time to time. Walking away is a horrible colour but it’s just that, a colour, nothing more.
So walk away. Just go. Rainbows will return in time. We should be allowed to embrace The End without guilt. We need to be able to do that to move on.
Do it. Let go. Tomorrow’s rainbow is waiting.
SEETHINGS is about long-term love too. It’s about two proud people who once loved well but became love-martyrs to sustain an endless ending.
Someone is about to be tortured. Someone will die in exchange for the pain.
Five Random Victims
“Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.”
– Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’.