How To Hide A Body

Posted On January 6, 2018 at 2:31 pm by / No Comments

It was an accident.

By some perculiar twist of happenstance, a body is lying at your feet. It’s not your fault. Someone else caused this to happen. It was there before you got here. You’re an innocent bystander.

But you don’t want to go to jail for something you didn’t do. What do you do?

It’s unlikely anyone will believe your story. Someone always pays for murder, accidental ones or not. People don’t just die for free. Someone pays and that someone will be YOU!

There’s a way out of it. Hide the body.

A body not yet discovered is not yet a murder. Only you know the details. Until another party is aware of it, you get to play judge and jury.

Fuck it! Let’s decide to hide!

Bury, burn, acid-melt, sink or freeze them out of existence?

The truth is, much of it depends on nearby resources (and your connection to the dead-one.)

Firstly, you may not have a freezer big enough to store or the quantity of acid needed to liquefy a whole body. As far as fire goes, not all councils/countys allow spontaneous burn-offs and, don’t forget, the smoke a body produces is a dead giveaway! (lol – I crack me up!)

There are other factors to consider that may or may not effect any subsequent investigation.

Dig Deep.

I despise having to dig but, logically speaking, a grave needs to be made much deeper if the body is that of a spouse compared to that of a distant relative. If the burial site is closer to home then it needs to go even deeper. Population density plays its part too. Who sees what and when matters all the time, every time.

In the USA, there are 92 people per square mile. That’s 184 eyes looking at something inside that one mile space. There’s a high chance one of them will know what’s going on when it’s happening. Questions will be asked.

In Australia where I come from, there’s just 1 person in that same space! Paradise, eh?

As a result of this wonderful statistic, I don’t bury my vic… ummm… these dead people. In fact, I don’t do anything at all. I leave them right where, ummm, I find them. It works fine. In ten years, I’ve not been caught… but I do choose my times and places very carefully, relying on weather events to remove most of the evidence.

Oh okay, you got me, I can’t go on dodging this. Their deaths weren’t entirely accidental.

The summers are stiflingly hot and humid in Brisbane. A body decomposes at an accelerated rate. If I pick the right night, a thunderous storm sorts out the main issues almost immediately. All that’s needed is a little time in the summer sun to finish off the job.

And then there’s my victims. Choosing the right one makes or breaks everything.

A stranger is best. They have no historical links to the one who dumps their body. So the trick comes down to obtaining one and then keeping every other set of eyes out of that square mile for just enough time to turn a live person into a dead body, dump it and then vacate the scene. In Brisbane, in the summertime, after a thunderstorm, the police have a f*ck-all chance of finding a connection from the victim to anything.

Not only is there a flood to wash away the evidence, it’s a random individual!

The Bikeway-Rapist totally had the right idea. Police had no clue who was doing it and it’d all come down to the person he chose. He’d go into the bushes and wait for a jogger to pass by. That’s all. He made it simple by bikeway rapist ambushed womenkeeping it random.

They’d jog along the path with a smile and be in a world of their own, counting the miles while listening to tunes on an Ipod. They didn’t see him coming and they definitely couldn’t hear him. It’s almost as if they wanted a little molestation, right? (Yeah, I thought that too!)

There was no link between perpetrator and victim and he had the time of his life. He gorged on a smorgasbord of young hotties while enjoying the same freedoms you and I have. What a life!

Hide a Body or Cover A Crime?

But he did two things wrong. He did it during daylight hours and then he let them live. The one set of eyes in that square mile that shouldn’t have seen anything saw something every single time. It’s neighbouring mouth spoke descriptions to the police and then a hunt was on. He was bound to be found.

The moral of this story is not about how to hide a body but choosing the right victim.

The depth of your hole will depend on your relationship to the body that goes into it. Do you want to work harder on the hole or smarter on the victim?

I don’t want to dig at all.

Kill strangers.


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