Secret Affair: ‘The Kisses Taste Better.’
I must admit it, the touches are tinglier too! It’s so good. I wish I’d made my move way sooner than this! It’s naughty but I don’t mind sharing my little secret with you. To hell with those haters and nay-sayers! They don’t know what I’ve been through. I had no choice. I needed this so much!
Cheating actually keeps me sane. Without it, I’d be climbing walls! My spouse has no time for me. It’s always work, work, work. I’m done with being second best. I’m low priority. I want more. I need to be wanted. Being taken for granted isn’t what I signed up for. I’ve done more with my secret FWB in three months than I ever did in my marriage in the last decade. Despite the brief encounters, we so everything we don’t experience at home. That’s why our meetings are so precious. There’s so much more freedom there. The bizarre marital restrictions at home don’t matter.
Yes, we tried better communication, couple’s therapy, date nights, but nothing worked. My married life became more awkward, too tangled to unravel. It wasn’t the life I expected to live. Monogamy was the dream. It’s just it didn’t work out that way. It’s not enough.
If it weren’t this new arrangement, her life would be as sexless as mine. We crave touch but our spouses are absent. They live with us but they’re not with us. They’re busy people. They ran out of excuses to not be with us and we ran out of explanations to be able to excuse them… and ourselves. It’s complicated for an outsider to understand but it’s not to us.
Before this affair, I had to embrace defeat or make some radical changes. Something had to break the routine, so I did. Dog or not, I improved the situation by altering my approach to the problem. Now I’m happy. So is my wife. I don’t look to Samantha for that anymore and she likes it. It allows her to stay busy, doing the things that make her truly happy. Nina’s marriage is almost the same.
She and I love our spouses, we just didn’t want the icy lifestyle anymore. We wanted the fire! It’s not disgusting to want, right? It’s delicious to give. Exquisite to receive. We do both.
Are we too demanding for our spouses? Perhaps that’s true. You probably think that they might be shunning us over some weird sexual request, like wanting it more than once or twice a year. Quick vanilla is bad enough, infrequent dessert just seals it.
There are no strange kinks with us. Most of what we want is to feel human again. We like to kiss. Hugging is high on our agenda too. Sex completes us. Our problems are solved and two marriages are extremely happy because of what we do… of what we all do.
Would I tolerate this behaviour if it were my wife and not me?
Ten years ago I’d have said no. If it made her happy to take a lover, then I’d have to look at myself for an answer. Happiness for me required a behavioural change to take place deep inside. I needed to accept a new kind of normal. Sure, if Sam wanted it, I’d consider accepting it. Why can’t we embrace change? Change can help us all if we expanded our minds and put our trust in love not sex.
Who am I kidding? She wouldn’t think like that. She doesn’t need sex. Books do it for her. Reading is sex. We’ve a growing library on her side of the bed and I’m not worth placing a bookmark into any of their pages for a moment of romance.
She’s asexual. That’s all to say about it. She disagrees, of course. She says it’s something else. Sometimes illness stops sex, or tiredness, work, me, her, us, or bad timing. One time, we were on holidays, and she said that she needed a break. (How can someone take a break from something they don’t do?). Like I said, the excuses had run out.
I know what you’re wondering. No, we have no children. That’s why we have three healthy teenage-sized libraries of books beside her side of our bed. It’s also why I outsourced intimacy and allowed my wife to read them without distraction.
And then six women died in mysterious circumstances. It was all over the news. Maybe you know one of the victims.
Tags: Novels; Sexless Marriages; Intimacy; Erotica; Psychological Thrillers; Secret Affair
“Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.”– Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’.