Secret Affair: ‘The Kisses Taste Better.’
I must admit it, the touches we experience in the bedroom are tinglier too!
It’s naughty but I don’t mind sharing my secret with you. To hell with the haters and nay-sayers! I needed this so much!
It actually keeps me sane. Without it, I’d be climbing walls!
The funny bit is, I’ve done more with my FWB in three months than I ever did with my spouse in over a decade.
Despite our brief encounters together, we secretly get to experience everything we don’t experience at home. That’s why our meetings are so desirable and precious.
I’m honest when I say, there’s so much more freedom doing it this way. Those strange marital restrictions are removed.
This wasn’t the life I expected to live when I married my partner all those years ago. Monogamy was the dream. It’s just it didn’t work out that way.
No one is surprised by a guy stepping out anyway, right? It’s almost expected.
Men are dogs, born and bred – but I’m only half of this story. She’s a married woman taking a stand for her sexuality too.
If it weren’t for our arrangement, her life would be as sexless as mine. We crave human touch but our spouses are always absent. They live with with us but they’re not with us. They ran out of excuses and we ran out of explanations for them… and for ourselves.
It’s complicated to an outsider but not to us.
Before this, my marriage was suffering in the worst of ways.
At a certain point I had to embrace change or accept defeat. It was up to me to the break the routine.
Dog or not, I improved things by altering my behavior. Now I’m happy and so is my wife. I don’t look to Samantha for that anymore and she likes it that way.
My sex-friend and myself love our spouses, we just didn’t want their ice anymore. She and I wanted fire!
Are we too demanding for our spouses? Are they shunning us over our weird requests?
No, I don’t think so.
We’re quite vanilla in that way. There are no paddles or chains. In our secret world we hug, kiss and make out like smitten teenagers. There are no strange kinks. Most of what we wanted was to feel human again. Sex completes us.
Both of our marriages were sexless and now they’re not. The problem is solved.
Would I tolerate this behaviour from my wife?
Ten years ago I’d have said no. Now I’m not so sure. Happiness for me required a change in mind-set to be able to move forward. Change can include much more if it’s needed.
It’s unlikely Sam would rationalize it the way I did much less make use of it if she did. Nevertheless, I’d take her request to find a more suited bed-partner seriously. It’s only fair.
Who am I kidding?
Books entertain her.
Reading is more than enough. We’ve a growing library on her side of the bed and I’m not worth placing a bookmark into any of their pages for a single second of romance or intimacy.
We’ve had counseling, four years of it. She’s asexual. That’s all that’s left to say.
Of course, she doesn’t agree. She says it’s something else.
Sometimes it’s about illness, tiredness, work, me, her, bad timing – one day she said she needed a holiday and while we were there she said she needed a break from sex too.
It’s a kind of logic that I can’t ever beat!
She’s always been naive – a devoted, old-world Catholic. With Faith and nothing else, everything happens automatically, by the Grace of God.
This means pregnancy is impossible – unless it’s Immaculate.
That’s why we have three healthy teenage-sized libraries of books instead. It’s also why I outsourced physical intimacy and allowed my wife to read, free from distractions.
And then six women died in mysterious circumstances. It was all over the news. Maybe you know one of them.
Things are spiraling out of control.
Tags: Novels; Sexless Marriages; Intimacy; Erotica; Psychological Thrillers; Secret Affair